S
Spider Robinson
I am a writer. I just got Office 2004 Tonight I tried to type a list of
characters' names in Word. I was not allowed to.
I typed the name Kathy. Word offered me a suggestion to follow it,
highlighted: the last name of a friend of mine. Rather startled that Word
had ever heard of her, I hit Return, telling Word that I did NOT want that
suggested last name to be typed, and I wished to start a new paragraph
instead.
Word defied me. It typed the unwanted last name for me, and did NOT start a
new paragraph.
Naturally I hit Delete. I intended to backspace, a character at a time,
until I had removed the offending last name.
Again, Word defied me. At the first touch of the Delete key, it selected,
highlighted, and deleted THE ENTIRE NAME, both first AND last names.
So I started over. I typed Kathy. Waited. Nothing. Then I typed a blank
space. At once, Word AGAIN typed, selected and highlighted the last name of
that friend of mine whose first name happens to be Kathy. AGAIN, I was not
permitted to correct Word's error. It knew better than I did what I wanted.
After experimenting, I found that the ONLY way to delete the unsolicited
last name was to place my insertion point one character BEFORE the last
character of the name--NOT after it--then hit Delete until everything BUT
the last character was gone. THEN AND ONLY THEN was I permitted to place the
insertion point AFTER that final character and delete it as well.
I also discovered by experiment that the same thing happened any time I
typed the first name of ANYONE WHOSE NAME WAS FOUND IN MY ENTOURAGE 2004
ADDRESS BOOK. Without consulting me, Word was consulting the rest of my
Microsoft software, before deciding what I would be allowed to type.
Between them, Word and Entourage had decided I was forbidden to write about
anybody but people I knew.
Such impertinence is intolerable, so I went looking through the Help
sections of BOTH programs for a way to disable this "feature." It is
nowhere mentioned, specifically or by inference. I went to Microsoft's
website and wandered there for hours. Nothing. I e-mailed Microsoft asking
for help, and I will wait for you to stop laughing before I proceed further.
There.
Finally I asked a friend who writes software. He said it acted like a
mistaken Spell check operation. So I looked at the Spelling and Grammar
menu item, and found an obscure Options button, and tried that, and found a
place where I was offered the opportunity to check a box that would force
Word to make spelling suggestions ONLY from its own main dictionary, rather
than from any Custom dictionaries.
Perhaps, I reasoned, the boneheads that wrote this mess thought the address
books of unrelated software were custom dictionaries, even though their own
company had written that software and so they must have known better. So I
checked that box, and looked to see if I had just solved my problem.
I had not.
Well, actually, I HAD. Really.
It just didn't LOOK like I had, you see. The reason it didn't look like it
was, Word lied to me, by omission. It failed to tell me that checking that
Options box WOULD NOT TAKE EFFECT UNTIL I HAD QUIT AND THEN REOPENED WORD.
I learned, totally by accident, that I HAD successfully debugged Word of its
Character-Name-Overwriter about two hours later, when I opened it up again
to show someone the unbelievably stupid planned-bug....and found it gone.
What imbecile at Microsoft decided to make it the DEFAULT CHOICE that users
may only write the names of people they exchange e-mail with? And worse,
WHY did he make it very nearly impossible to correct his spectacularly bad
judgment?
Worst of all, why did Microsoft release the product without any beta testing
at all? The bug would have been grossly obvious within the first day to
nearly every beta tester. It simply is not possible that I am the first
user who ever wanted to type a stranger's name.
In the same way, nobody working on Entourage ever noticed that it does not
appear to be possible to insert a hotlink into an e-mail. How often does
THAT ever come up, right? Only every other message....
It actually IS possible, but Microsoft's interface "designers" worked very
hard to make it seem impossible..... and then, in a real burst of humor,
fixed things so that if you DID accidentally stumble onto the secret (and
stupid) method of inserting a hotlink, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DIDN'T. That is,
even after you do make typed text a hotlink in Entourage, it DOES NOT turn
blue and underlined. The recipient will see it that way, but you can't,
unless you cc yourself.
While we're at it, has anyone got even a wild-ass GUESS why the geniuses who
"designed" the Office package decreed that no user may Switch Identities in
Entourage (again, something that only comes up several times a day) WITHOUT
FIRST QUITTING WORD, POWERPOINT, EXCEL AND/OR MESSENGER?
That's right: you can't use more than one e-mail account without constantly
quitting and reopening THE ENTIRE OFFICE SUITE OF SOFTWARE. In what
imaginable circumstances would that NOT be a waste of time?
This is inexcusably bad interface. This is disgraceful. Shame on whoever
said Office 2004 was ready to ship. Microsoft Word, which has been rammed
down the throats of ALL users everywhere, is now unusable for any
writer..... and even if you guess how to fix it (which is the only way to
find out), it looks like you didn't.
--Spider Robinson
Author of THE CRAZY YEARS
http://www.spiderrobinson.com
characters' names in Word. I was not allowed to.
I typed the name Kathy. Word offered me a suggestion to follow it,
highlighted: the last name of a friend of mine. Rather startled that Word
had ever heard of her, I hit Return, telling Word that I did NOT want that
suggested last name to be typed, and I wished to start a new paragraph
instead.
Word defied me. It typed the unwanted last name for me, and did NOT start a
new paragraph.
Naturally I hit Delete. I intended to backspace, a character at a time,
until I had removed the offending last name.
Again, Word defied me. At the first touch of the Delete key, it selected,
highlighted, and deleted THE ENTIRE NAME, both first AND last names.
So I started over. I typed Kathy. Waited. Nothing. Then I typed a blank
space. At once, Word AGAIN typed, selected and highlighted the last name of
that friend of mine whose first name happens to be Kathy. AGAIN, I was not
permitted to correct Word's error. It knew better than I did what I wanted.
After experimenting, I found that the ONLY way to delete the unsolicited
last name was to place my insertion point one character BEFORE the last
character of the name--NOT after it--then hit Delete until everything BUT
the last character was gone. THEN AND ONLY THEN was I permitted to place the
insertion point AFTER that final character and delete it as well.
I also discovered by experiment that the same thing happened any time I
typed the first name of ANYONE WHOSE NAME WAS FOUND IN MY ENTOURAGE 2004
ADDRESS BOOK. Without consulting me, Word was consulting the rest of my
Microsoft software, before deciding what I would be allowed to type.
Between them, Word and Entourage had decided I was forbidden to write about
anybody but people I knew.
Such impertinence is intolerable, so I went looking through the Help
sections of BOTH programs for a way to disable this "feature." It is
nowhere mentioned, specifically or by inference. I went to Microsoft's
website and wandered there for hours. Nothing. I e-mailed Microsoft asking
for help, and I will wait for you to stop laughing before I proceed further.
There.
Finally I asked a friend who writes software. He said it acted like a
mistaken Spell check operation. So I looked at the Spelling and Grammar
menu item, and found an obscure Options button, and tried that, and found a
place where I was offered the opportunity to check a box that would force
Word to make spelling suggestions ONLY from its own main dictionary, rather
than from any Custom dictionaries.
Perhaps, I reasoned, the boneheads that wrote this mess thought the address
books of unrelated software were custom dictionaries, even though their own
company had written that software and so they must have known better. So I
checked that box, and looked to see if I had just solved my problem.
I had not.
Well, actually, I HAD. Really.
It just didn't LOOK like I had, you see. The reason it didn't look like it
was, Word lied to me, by omission. It failed to tell me that checking that
Options box WOULD NOT TAKE EFFECT UNTIL I HAD QUIT AND THEN REOPENED WORD.
I learned, totally by accident, that I HAD successfully debugged Word of its
Character-Name-Overwriter about two hours later, when I opened it up again
to show someone the unbelievably stupid planned-bug....and found it gone.
What imbecile at Microsoft decided to make it the DEFAULT CHOICE that users
may only write the names of people they exchange e-mail with? And worse,
WHY did he make it very nearly impossible to correct his spectacularly bad
judgment?
Worst of all, why did Microsoft release the product without any beta testing
at all? The bug would have been grossly obvious within the first day to
nearly every beta tester. It simply is not possible that I am the first
user who ever wanted to type a stranger's name.
In the same way, nobody working on Entourage ever noticed that it does not
appear to be possible to insert a hotlink into an e-mail. How often does
THAT ever come up, right? Only every other message....
It actually IS possible, but Microsoft's interface "designers" worked very
hard to make it seem impossible..... and then, in a real burst of humor,
fixed things so that if you DID accidentally stumble onto the secret (and
stupid) method of inserting a hotlink, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DIDN'T. That is,
even after you do make typed text a hotlink in Entourage, it DOES NOT turn
blue and underlined. The recipient will see it that way, but you can't,
unless you cc yourself.
While we're at it, has anyone got even a wild-ass GUESS why the geniuses who
"designed" the Office package decreed that no user may Switch Identities in
Entourage (again, something that only comes up several times a day) WITHOUT
FIRST QUITTING WORD, POWERPOINT, EXCEL AND/OR MESSENGER?
That's right: you can't use more than one e-mail account without constantly
quitting and reopening THE ENTIRE OFFICE SUITE OF SOFTWARE. In what
imaginable circumstances would that NOT be a waste of time?
This is inexcusably bad interface. This is disgraceful. Shame on whoever
said Office 2004 was ready to ship. Microsoft Word, which has been rammed
down the throats of ALL users everywhere, is now unusable for any
writer..... and even if you guess how to fix it (which is the only way to
find out), it looks like you didn't.
--Spider Robinson
Author of THE CRAZY YEARS
http://www.spiderrobinson.com