Microsoft Incompetence plus their Fraud and Scam Systems

[david c. Jones]

Error! Unable to check for updates on this computer Help

The Office Update site is unable to check for updates on
this computer. This may be happening because of one of
the following reasons:

You do not have administrative privileges for this
computer.
There is a network problem and the detection catalog used
by the Office Update site failed to download. Go back to
the Downloads home page and try running detection again.
Windows Installer patch files (.MSP files) from
previously applied Office updates are missing from the
\Windows\Installer hidden directory on your computer. MSP
files are stored on your computer after update
installation completes because they need to be referenced
for future update operations. If the files are missing
you will not be able to apply Office updates. You may
also be unable to uninstall Office products as a result
of the same problem. Please contact Microsoft Product
Support Services for assistance.
You installed Office updates in the past and then
upgraded from Windows Installer version 1.0 to Windows
Installer version 1.1. For more information see the KB
article Windows Installer May Prompt for Install Source
if Unavailable.

Every time I report failure I get a microsoft message
telling me that there are updates. I press the
appropriate key and they tell me that they are not
available. Then, when I want to seek support, I cannot do
so directly from Microsoft without paying a fee. Why I
should pay a fee to fix the incompetence and lack of
caring by a multi-zillion dollar greedy monopoly I cannot
figure out. I think I shall report this to the SEC and
the FBI as an on-line fraud and a scam.

These companies are always talking about helping to fix
on-line frauds and scams - yet they are the worst
perpetrators of all. Is NOTHING in business honest any
more?

David C. Jones,

 

[Mercury]

Ranters, whiners and crybabies generally find they don't get much help here,
as this is a *technical* support board. If you think the FBI or the SEC can
help you solve your technical problems, I suggest you immediately contact
them to help you. Maybe you will be lucky and they will pay you a personal
visit!

 

[Allistair]

This worked for me without screwing anything else up. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS
IN CAPITALS FIRST!

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\Installer\Products\<Product code number
that refers to Office 2003>\Patchesold

 

[Chuckles]

Error! Unable to check for updates on this computer Help

The Office Update site is unable to check for updates on
this computer. This may be happening because of one of
the following reasons:

You do not have administrative privileges for this
computer.
There is a network problem and the detection catalog used
by the Office Update site failed to download. Go back to
the Downloads home page and try running detection again.
Windows Installer patch files (.MSP files) from
previously applied Office updates are missing from the
\Windows\Installer hidden directory on your computer. MSP
files are stored on your computer after update
installation completes because they need to be referenced
for future update operations. If the files are missing
you will not be able to apply Office updates. You may
also be unable to uninstall Office products as a result
of the same problem. Please contact Microsoft Product
Support Services for assistance.
You installed Office updates in the past and then
upgraded from Windows Installer version 1.0 to Windows
Installer version 1.1. For more information see the KB
article Windows Installer May Prompt for Install Source
if Unavailable.

Every time I report failure I get a microsoft message
telling me that there are updates. I press the
appropriate key and they tell me that they are not
available. Then, when I want to seek support, I cannot do
so directly from Microsoft without paying a fee. Why I
should pay a fee to fix the incompetence and lack of
caring by a multi-zillion dollar greedy monopoly I cannot
figure out. I think I shall report this to the SEC and
the FBI as an on-line fraud and a scam.

These companies are always talking about helping to fix
on-line frauds and scams - yet they are the worst
perpetrators of all. Is NOTHING in business honest any
more?

David C. Jones,

Nope. That will be $249.95, please drive through.

 

[Milly Staples [MVP - Outlook]]

Now THAT's funny!

--
Milly Staples [MVP - Outlook]

Post all replies to the group to keep the discussion intact. Due to
the (insert latest virus name here) virus, all mail sent to my personal
account will be deleted without reading.

After searching google.groups.com and finding no answer, Chuckles asked:

| david c. Jones wrote:
|| Error! Unable to check for updates on this computer Help
||
|| The Office Update site is unable to check for updates on
|| this computer. This may be happening because of one of
|| the following reasons:
||
|| You do not have administrative privileges for this
|| computer.
|| There is a network problem and the detection catalog used
|| by the Office Update site failed to download. Go back to
|| the Downloads home page and try running detection again.
|| Windows Installer patch files (.MSP files) from
|| previously applied Office updates are missing from the
|| \Windows\Installer hidden directory on your computer. MSP
|| files are stored on your computer after update
|| installation completes because they need to be referenced
|| for future update operations. If the files are missing
|| you will not be able to apply Office updates. You may
|| also be unable to uninstall Office products as a result
|| of the same problem. Please contact Microsoft Product
|| Support Services for assistance.
|| You installed Office updates in the past and then
|| upgraded from Windows Installer version 1.0 to Windows
|| Installer version 1.1. For more information see the KB
|| article Windows Installer May Prompt for Install Source
|| if Unavailable.
||
|| Every time I report failure I get a microsoft message
|| telling me that there are updates. I press the
|| appropriate key and they tell me that they are not
|| available. Then, when I want to seek support, I cannot do
|| so directly from Microsoft without paying a fee. Why I
|| should pay a fee to fix the incompetence and lack of
|| caring by a multi-zillion dollar greedy monopoly I cannot
|| figure out. I think I shall report this to the SEC and
|| the FBI as an on-line fraud and a scam.
||
|| These companies are always talking about helping to fix
|| on-line frauds and scams - yet they are the worst
|| perpetrators of all. Is NOTHING in business honest any
|| more?
||
|| David C. Jones,
| Nope. That will be $249.95, please drive through.