Walkenbach Charactor

[Excel Guru]

In the past I have questioned John's credability to be a
spokesperson for Excel. I have just discovered documented
evidence that he should not be publishing nor speaking
about Microsoft Excel in a public forum. Proof is on
page128 of the book Excel 2002 Formulas. He makes
reference to a song by Liz Phair called
Whitechocolatespaceegg, PROOF of his charactor is proven
by the punk music he listens too. Do we want this man
teaching our children Excel? I think not, please email
me about your comments, and we will forward to
Mandtebooks.

Sincerely,

Excel Guru
(e-mail address removed)

 

[Paul Corrado]

"should not be publishing nor speaking"???

The correct idiom is neither nor. Ex. "should neither be publishing nor
speaking. Alternatively, you could say "should not be publishing or
speaking." Better would be to eliminate the gerund: "should neither publish
nor speak about."

 

[Myrna Larson]

Can you please explain what one's taste in music has to do with Excel?

BTW, you have just provided evidence that we don't want YOU teaching anybody spelling and/or
grammar. There at at least 3 such errors in your message. Doesn't your newsreader have a
spelling checker?

 

[Myrna Larson]

That makes 4 spelling/grammar errors.... I missed that one.

 

[Ken Wright]

Hi Biff, I shouldn't waste your breath on this one. He's one of the regular trolls that takes up
space that could have been used for a perfectly normal human being - such a waste of space <sigh>.

 

[Norman Harker]

Hi All!

Whilst in a thread that is related to parasites, it might be worthy of
note that there is a new worm in the wild. The worm purports to come
from Admin of your service provider and warns of the expiry of your
email address. Discovery was 1-Aug-2003 and was raised to category 3
over the weekend. I received my first one early morning of 4-Aug-2003.

Whereas this parasitic Excel Guru can be safely derided or ignored,
you should update your virus definitions.

Back on topic and ss for who I would like to teach my kids? I think
John would rate highly on that list at any grade from Kindergarten to
PhD. I don't share his taste in music but as an educator and writer he
is exceptionally gifted.

--
Regards
Norman Harker MVP (Excel)
Sydney, Australia
Holidays and Observances Monday 4th August 2003: British Virgin
Islands, Dominica, Eire, Montserrat, St. Kitts & Nevis, St. Vincent &
Grenadines, UK (August Holiday), Anguilla (Carnival), Bahamas
(Emancipation Day), Barbados (Kadooment), Burkina Faso (Revolution
Day), Canada (British Columbia Day, New Brunswick Day, Natal Day),
China (Chinese Valentine's Day), Cook Islands (Constitution Day), El
Salvador (Transfiguration Day), Guyana (Freedom Day), Iceland (Workers
Day), Peru (Anniv Huancavelica), Zambia (Farmer's Day)
(e-mail address removed)
Excel and Word Function Lists (Classifications, Syntax and Arguments)
available free to good homes.

 

[Ken Wright]

Interesting thought though - Wonder if we could get him classified as a virus and have him added
to our virus definition files - Seems to fit all the usual requirements. <g>

 

[Excel Guru]

Sorry my post was misconstruted, I was trying to
enlighten the new readers that may not be aware of John's
tactics and schemes he has used in the past to sucker
ignorant consumers to purchase his products. With the
economy in its current state, I am just trying to
indentify the sharks.

 

[Ken Wright]

Add his latest retort and that makes it 6 in total now. I would normally recommend adult literacy
classes, but am not sure he's old enough to qualify.

 

[Paul Corrado]

Sorry my post was misconstruted, (sp and a period. Also, people disagreed
with the message. Based on their comments, respondents seem to have clearly
understood your message and intent.) I was trying to enlighten (warn) the
(wordy) new readers that may not be aware of John's (the?) tactics and
schemes he (John?) has used in the past (redundant) to sucker (dupe?)
ignorant (unwary?) consumers to purchase his products. With the economy in
its current state (isn't the economy always in its "current" state?), I am
just trying to indentify (sp) the sharks. (How is the current economic
climate related to the quality/usefulness of Walkenbach's books?Would it
matter if the economy were doing well?)

 

[Ken Wright]

rotflmao - Paul, If I didn't know better I'd think you were picking on the poor little chap, and
whatever could he have done to deserve that eh??? <vbg>

 

[Harlan Grove]

In all seriousness, I have to congratulate you. Among all the trolls I've come
across, you've found a splendid niche. Nowhere else are there so many otherwise
sensible people so prepared to feed the likes of you. When you post, they all
turn stupid.

I'm hoping repeated bouts of stupidity are at reduced levels of intensity, so
the others get progressively less stupid with each response (possibly a vain
hope - many see themselves as protectors of the newbies and lurkers, adamantly
unwilling to ascribe to other readers of this newsgroup the adult ability to
bypass trash - no, they have to stop, point, and loudly yell 'THERE'S SOME TRASH
HERE!' - as I said, they turn stupid). But I maintain the hope that if you post
frequently enough, there's a slight chance that the others may just possibly
reach sufficiently low levels of stupidity that laziness would take over and
they'd ignore you.

So I'm asking you - please keep this up. But unlike the others, you know what
you're doing, so . . .

 

[Dan E]

So instead of letting the "troll" just be fed, you've decided to congratulate him as well??? That should help get rid of him! He's
here essentially to piss people off, showing that your pissed (not only at him but at everyone else as well) will not keep him away.

 

[Harlan Grove]

So instead of letting the "troll" just be fed, you've decided to
congratulate him as well??? That should help get rid of him! He's
here essentially to piss people off, showing that your pissed (not
only at him but at everyone else as well) will not keep him away.

...

You betcha! Anyone who succeeds as spectacularly as the OP deserves praise!
Again, this time explicitly including myself, he's the only one participating in
this thread who knows what he's doing. I'm at least realistic enough to know I'm
exacerbating the situation. [If you had wanted to tell me so, there's private
e-mail.]

Since he's already well fed from this foray, my contribution was little more
than the cherry atop the whipped cream. As for pissing everyone else off, just
shows I know how to be a troll too. Thanks for feeding me.

 

[Wendy]

Dear Excel Guru,

I have to believe that any slur on the Walkenbach character was a
poorly written joke, meant to be funny, rather than true...

I have been raising my children on a steady diet of John Walkenbach's
brilliance, through his books and his spreadsheet page and now, in
those moments when they deserve a break from their studies, we all
read his blog...

More sincere than you,

Wendy

 

[Norman Harker]

Hi Ken!

I really must insist on your stopping referring to this parasite using
the male gender. I find it most offensive that you make that
assumption. However, my wife has objected equally strongly to a female
assumption. After discussion we decided that *it* must be an
hermaphrodite.

Certainly, activities on this group are startlingly similar to sexual
activities that are customarily performed without the assistance of a
partner.

--
Regards
Norman Harker MVP (Excel)
Sydney, Australia
Holidays and Observances Thursday 7th August 2003: Abu Dhabi (Anguilla
(August Thursday), Columbia (Battle of Boyaca), Kiribati (Youth Day),
Israel (Tishah B’Av), Ivory Coast (Independence Day), South Korea (Ch’
ilsok), Western Samoa (Labor Day). Observances: Tishah B'Av (Judaism).
(e-mail address removed)
Excel and Word Function Lists (Classifications, Syntax and Arguments)
available free to good homes.